It was January 10th, 2021 when I attended my first live session for Lumia Coaching (formerly JRNI Coaching). Four weeks prior I made the decision to spend a substantial portion of my recent inheritance money on a Life Coaching Training Program that I had heard about from John Kim’s The Angry Therapist Podcast.
At the time, my marriage was in serious trouble, our son was just over a year old, and our old business was struggling to turn the profit we financially needed.
So, of course, it was a good time to personally invest in myself….right??
Yes, yes, and yes.
I had spent the past year delving into marriage and relationship dynamics: rupture and repair, attachment styles, trauma, grief, activated nervous systems, and healing. I wanted to learn more about what I had experienced in my marital rupture. I felt so helpless and stuck!
I initially entered Coaching more to learn the trade than to heal from my chaos, but found myself benefiting both as a coach, and client. Similar to other healing and wellness modalities, teachers are also students. I believe we become the medicine we need to heal the mess inside ourselves. Coach Training was my first step.
As I began peer coaching that Spring, and my divorce in its legal proceedings, I recall a few sessions where I was coached about how I was going to be able to show up for my son (still 1 YO), operate my business (without my partner), take care of my home, and keep myself together. I started to compartmentalize and operate as a multi-headed Damien that could handle each thing on its own accord.
To be honest, I’m not sure how good I was at it. I was preoccupied with creating security, consistency, and connection with my son. By the Fall my divorce settled. I had 50% custody of my now two year old and I was able to take further steps toward one day becoming a Professional Coach.
I had to eat my words amongst friends and family that Winter when I was unable to initiate the start-up of my Coaching business. I felt shame and inadequacy for not being able to just power through it. But I was recovering from exhaustion and career burnout as I gave myself space to rest. I half think that my reinvigoration the next Spring was due in part to countless pints of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and hours spent binging Netflix.
It’s been eighteen months since completing my last Coach Training Class and I am now beginning my Coaching Business. Boy was that not expected. I slowly learned why I needed such duration to prepare myself to exit the ‘old me’ and enter the ‘new me’.
The investment has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.
My eighteen month journey had me dive into shame, self doubt, limiting beliefs, boundary setting, grief, and hurt. The feelings in it were uncomfortable, intense, and messy. Some still linger. I know I have further to grow.
Yet, I have come a long way. Another year behind me and my son is now three. While far from a man, Daddy has taught him the foundations of love, respect, kindness, generosity, and honesty. It was a good year for him and I, in our family.
These days I find myself talking to my community about the perceived value of Coaching. I hail from the rural Midwest where coaches are primarily associated with athletics and a Life Coach is nearly unheard of. Thus, I do a lot of education.
Once you start to look differently at how you show up in your life, it changes you forever. You get to decide though how far you want to take it and do what feels right for you.
When I say, “This Shit Feels Amazing!” I am not kidding! Dare to jump into a lifestyle where “You Do You”….regularly! Work on you. Examine you. Improve you. Love you. Build you. Nourish you.
I’m here to provide you unwavering support, build confidence, create structure, facilitate accountability, laugh, cry, hold space, and foster growth. You will experience a safe container like no other. It truly is priceless.
Many Blessings,
Damien
